I have been hearing and seeing a lot of little signs and plaques and things saying that happiness is a choice. This may be true for some people, but it’s not true for people with depression.  Happiness is a chemical reaction in your brain. You have no control over when or how it happens. You don’t even control what makes you happy. For instance, I get happy in the colder months, watching scary movies or action flicks. I also find dark poetry beautiful and metal moves me most. No one in my family likes most of these things. By no one I do mean NO ONE. I don’t know anyone that can choose what makes them happy. Some people are just happy, some want to rub it in your face that they are happy and you are not and some of us have a genetic mental disorder that will prevent us from being super happy because we do not produce the proper chemicals in the proper quantity. I have to take medication to be somewhat close to normal and I still don’t get to pick what makes me happy.  Some people say to give it all over to god and just be. That only works if that is how your faith works. It’s not how mine works. My gods like for there people to be strong.
This also goes for people with anxiety disorders. We didn’t get to pick these things from a list at birth or anything. They where given to us by genetics and environment.  Nature and nurtue. Sometimes you get more of one and less of the other. Some times you get shit.

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So no, happiness is not a choice

Blessed be
pagan Hyde
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